JXHQ: Milkshakes
by Mrs.Volterra
Summary: JokerXHarley one-shot in which the Joker attempts to make a milkshake and Harley Quinn must deal with the aftermath. Warning: Fluff... Read and review!


**AN: Not quite sure which Joker this is, probably the Animated Series one, since it's semi-fluffy. Read, review, and enjoy!**

Harley glanced from the TV as the Joker's mumbled curses drifted to where she was sitting. "Puddin'? You alright?" When she received no reply, she got up and wandered to the kitchen, where he was rummaging through the cabinets feverishly. "Pud'? Whatcha doin'?

Her boyfriend sighed, turning to face her as he scratched his head. "Where's the blender?"

Her brow furrowed in confusion. Was the Joker…cooking? "Um…last cabinet on the bottom." As he stooped down to open said cabinet, she bit her lip and tried to stifle a giggle.

The clown had gotten the blender and spun around to face the blonde. He tried to glare as menacingly as he could. "Are you laughing at me, woman?"

Harley shook her head quickly, pressing her hand to her mouth. "Oh, of _course_ not, Mistah J. Are you gonna torture someone with it, or just making something to eat?"

His eyes brightened and he cocked his head. "That's actually a good idea…but no, I was going to make a milkshake."

She raised an eyebrow. "With what?" Hopefully nothing that would put even Hannibal to shame. She knew he was capable of it.

"Whatever I want." The Joker stuck his tongue out childishly at her. "And you can't stop me."

Harley made a face back at him, crossing her eyes and puffing out her cheeks. "As if I would want to…Please try not to make a huge mess. I had to clean _again_ the other day just because you couldn't kill a guy in the living room, like _normal_ people would." He scoffed, but she didn't miss the sparkle in his dark eyes.

xxx

"My milkshakes bring all the Bats to the yard, my milkshakes are better than yours," He sang to himself, then chuckled. Harley was still watching one of her stupid shows. The Joker sighed, almost wishing she would come over and help. As if on cue, her voice pierced the air.

"Puddin'? It's been an hour. You gonna give up yet?"

He grit his teeth, and squinted his eyes. Didn't she understand just how difficult it was to make a milkshake? "Oh, babe, don't mind me. It's going to be delicious, wait and see."

Her snort carried over to him. "Sounds good."

xxx

"Harley! I've finished!" The Joker called dramatically, and when she walked into the kitchen, he was beaming from ear to ear. Harley immediately gasped and glared at him.

"What the _hell_ did you do?!" She shrieked.

Cold, gray liquid lined the walls. It slowly dripped down, from the ceiling to the floor. As cliché as it was, he had forgotten the lid, and the milkshake had spewed everywhere…

"Joker!" She fumed. "How on earth could you have forgotten the top? I specifically told you not to get it messy in here!" Her shoulders sagged. Why couldn't he be just a little serious for once?

The Joker stepped forwards, hands on hips. He towered over her. "I was just trying to make a milkshake." He turned to grab a spoon and scooped it into the blender. He held it out to her. "Try it? Pleaseee?"

She snatched it from him, still glaring and tentatively licked the end, then nodded slightly. "Hmmm…it's good, I suppose." She started to get more, ignoring her boyfriend's smug grin.

Of course it was good! He thought to himself. He didn't half-ass anything-

A cold glob of ice cream to the face stopped him dead in his tracks. The clown wiped it off his face, stunned, while Harley laughed, tears coming out of her bright blue eyes. She clutched her sides as she gasped for breath. "Mistah J, Mistah J! You shoulda seen your face!"

The Joker's mouth twitched. Should he be upset? No…

Before he knew it, he was grabbing at the remnants of his concoction from all over the counter, and with that, he grabbed Harley and threw her over his shoulder.

He lowered her onto the ground and started tickling her relentlessly. He pinned her down and lifted up her shirt, blowing raspberries onto the soft skin of her stomach. She shrieked and kicked at him. "Mistah J! Mistah J! Stahppp it!"

Ace and Spades were entering the hideout, but upon hearing the clowns, they whirled around and marched right back out, mumbling under their breath.

"Oh, Harls, you shouldn't have done that! You know how I get."

She blushed. "Oh I know, Puddin'."

xxx

"Ace. Spades. Clean the kitchen. You know how this one," He pointed to Harley, "Needs everything to be spotless." A smirk lit his face as the henchmen got to work. The two sighed internally. Harley was the one who was supposed to do the cleaning, not them.

"Sorry, kids." She told them, sympathy in her clear blue eyes. "If the Boss didn't always make such a mess…" She trailed off and followed her boyfriend into the living room.

As he fell onto the couch, the Joker stretched out his long limbs. His vivid green locks were tousled from earlier. Harley immediately fell beside him, curling into his side as he flipped through channels lazily. Nothing good. "I don't always make a mess." He muttered, pouting as he glanced down. He felt his little harlequin vibrate with laughter, and she poked his ribcage sharply.

"Yes you do." She accused, giggling softly.

"Whatever. You're just jealous because you can't make milkshakes."

Harley raised an eyebrow. "I can make milkshakes, Puddin'." A wicked grin darkened her angelic face. "In fact, my milkshakes bring all the boys to the yard." She flipped her long, golden hair over her shoulder.

"They better not…"

She pressed a hand to her mouth. "Oh, I forgot how jealous you get, Daddy."

He growled and had her pressed against the cushions instantly. "That's right, Harls." He assaulted her with kisses, peppering them on her lips, neck, and collarbone. "You're mine."

The clown princess smiled sweetly at him, adoration and love in her beautiful expression. "I know, Mistah J."

She whispered gently into his ear as he was pulled down for another kiss. "And you're mine, too."

**AN: Hope you liked it! I know, the Joker was OOC, and there was so much fluff. Sorry! Review?(; Check out my other stories, subscribe for more. Thank you xoxo**


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